Belonging to Yourself

You know your parents raise you the best they can with what they know.  Sometimes you may think they are hard on you.  Sometimes you may think that "they just don't get it".  Sometimes they may push you to your limit.  All of this shows their love for you.  

       I know that on this earth there are some people who have abusive parents. Parents that are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol.  Parents that are putting you through a nasty custody battle.  I like to believe that even parents who are like that hold love for their children somewhere in their hearts.  Either way, the way your parents raise you influences your behavior to a certain extent, but YOU are your own person!

       No one has control over your actions, behaviors, and emotions but you and God.  No one should be able to tell you how to think.  Your mind, your body, your emotions; they all belong to you.  

        I watched a video about clicker training yesterday.  A practice game shown was much like the game "Hot and Cold".  I chose a task for my (human) friend to do.  As they got closer to accomplishing the task I "clicked".  The only thing I did not like is that humans should not be trained. 

        Remember, you are your own person!

This Funny Thing Called "Life"

Life is tough, but you must never forget that it is tough for everyone in different ways.  I often wonder how it feels in another persons shoes.  I have a neurodegenerative disease that causes chronic illness, vision impairmant, the use of a wheelchai, and many other dificulties - and then some dificulties are from my friend here called "life".  What are your dificulties?  What are your challenges?  What are your disabilities?  How do you view life?

       We must realize that this is not easy for anyone.  With this realiziation in mind, we should help each other be our best selves.  Help accommodate to our own needs.  This is how I imagine a perfect, peaceful world would operate!

        You see, I believe in equality and treating all people as equals.  What a lot of people do not understand is that though everyone should be treated equal, we are all different living under circumstances that are not alike which means we need to be able to accommodate to our own specific needs.  We should help each other do this remembering that this life isn't easy!

Transition

I am a person with a disability transitioning from high school to college, but people with disabilities transition to many different places depending on their abilities.  Let me tell you, though, the world is not prepared for people with disabilities.  Some people go to a program called TRACE, some people go straight to a job and learning job skills, some people use many different agencies to go to college and transition into adulthood. 

       California is one of the best states for people who have disabilities.  California has the most state programs to provide support for individuals.  Regional Center is a program that assists and provides support to individuals with developmental disabilities.  Regional Center provides many, many different respite and other agencies of help, too.   Department of Rehab (DOR) is a program that supports and guides individuals to employment.  Suplemental Security Income (SSI) provides extra, helpful income.  In Home Supportive Systems (IHSS) is provided by Medi-Cal which is given by SSI.  Then my college disabled students programs and supports (DSPS) for academic accommodations. 

       This is everything I have to organize as I am adult.  Even though it is a lot to organize, I am glad that California provides all of this to help.  It is a state that I will always have to live in and pay the "sun tax", but I love it!

Warrior and Worrier

Some might call me a warrior, but I am also a worrier.  If something happens between me and someone else I perseverate, and then if communication isn't happening I start worrying the other person.  I feel everything so deeply and powerfully.  Unfortunately that also means I am easily hurt.  There is something I am begging to learn though; most people in the world have a protective layer over their heart. 

       I am 18 years old now; finally an adult.  I am not sure about being an adult, though.  I already knew life was brutal and exhausting, but now everything I didn't have to worry about as a minor… I have to worry about.  Most of my peers going into adulthood have to consider post-secondary education and money; I have to consider post-secondary education, money, Department of Rehab, Regional Center, SSI, IHSS, caregivers, service dog (I'm so EXCITED), wheelchair accessible van, etc.  

       I am a warrior so I can handle this, and I am a worrier so I will try NOT to perseverate on everything!

The Art of Communication

Sometimes words get jumbled up in my head.  I know what I want to say but the words are all scattered and bouncing around in my head like a pin ball machine, leaving my tongue paralyzed.  I believe that this one of the things that the lesion on my cerebellum took from me, although I was never great at speaking.  I must take frequent pauses too, so to fill my restricted lungs with more oxygen to fuel the words that flow out on the carbon dioxide.  The art of speech is more of a tetious task for me. 

       If speaking is a tetious task that takes much strength and energy out of me than you can imagine how hard it is when I am in the middle of a disagreement with someone.  Someone once got so frustrated that she told me to send her an email explaining what I was trying to expell from my mouth.  Now writing is a whole other walk in the park.  

       From my brain to a page is no trouble at all.  The words flow as freely as a waterfall.  So, I emailed what I was trying to get this person to understand and finally the lightbulb clicked on and we understood each other.  I use the art of written word with the grace it deserves. 

       Communicate.  Understand each other.  Write, speak, sign, communicate.