The Blood Cell Diaries

Dear Diary,
       While doing my daily circulations today I realized that the Master is not producing enough oxygen for us to filter through this temple.  All attempts to do our job have been thwarted when the knowledge came to us that the Master's lungs would not be producing a supplemental amount of oxygen.  It was necessary for a plan to be devised.
       The decision was made to multiply.  If we duplicate and travel through the blood in packs it allows us to filter a sufficient amount of oxygen, even if the Master is having trouble breathing.  It is really an ingenious plan!
       The only fault in this ingenious plan is that the Master has become annoyed with us.  Her reduced lung capacity does not comply with our act of multiplication.  This act of multiplication deceives the prying eyes of nurses and doctors as the oxygen in the Master's blood will always be 100% no matter how poorly Master's lungs are performing.  Vital signs will be stable.
       This temple of a body has always been good at compensation.  We take care of our Master!
Sincerely,
The Red Blood Cells

A Letter to the Heavens

Dear God,
       I am so conflicted.  I have two wants, two desires that lie on opposite ends of the spectrum from each other.  I think I know which one I want more and definitely which one is more sane.
       I want to be admitted… to the hospital.  I do not feel good and that is the biggest reason, but the hospital is like a vacation to me.  The physical tasks that take me hours to do at home are taken care of and the land of medicine has all the equipment that could ever be needed.  It makes me feel safe.  But being admitted, and going to the ER, and the situation at hand is putting my parents through hell.  I hate keeping my parents up at night, worrying them, and causing them anxiety.  I love my parents so much!
       I pray that You untangle my mind and steer me in the right direction.  I pray that Your will be done.

       We are all stressed, anxious, and worried.  I pray that You take the weight of the stress and the anxiety off of our shoulders.  Help us breathe.  Replace these chest tightening feelings with love, peace, and joy.  Courage and strength.  I pray that my family and I trust fully and completely in You.

       You are stretching my family and I like a rubber band.  Seeing how far we can go and I pray that we snap back into place.  With You, God, and our lovely support system of a family --friends included -- I am sure we will snap back to where we started and jump over this hurtle.
       I am conflicted, but I pray for guidance and the untangling of my mind.  I pray for the weight to be taken off of our shoulders and the breath to be easier to inhale.  I pray for Your will to be done and Your love to be felt.
       Thank You for my friends and family!  Thank You for another day!
In Jesus' name,
Amen

       

Where I Found Him

I have told this story before but I feel that since then my writing has improved dramatically.  There is also a new angle to the story buried in the depths of my words.  For the new and old readers, you will love it!

​There's a story of a girl who has always been faithful and trusting in God, but there was a day that made her truly believe.  A day where this girl felt God holding her; there is no other explanation.  This girl is me and what happened that day was almighty, in every way.

​I was about 14 and my Nana and Nanu had brought me to church, jus like they always did.  The Youth Group service and Bible studies were over and everyone was heading up to the "big church" for the main service.  My friends from youth group helped me get situated in the area we designated for ourselves when all of a sudden:

​"I have to go to the bathroom.  Where is it?", I said to the girl sitting next to me.

​"Just up there", referring to the incline up to the double doors.  "Do you need help?  I can get your grandma."

​"No, I'm okay."  So, I went up the ramp, out the double doors, into the sitting room before the bathroom, and then I was finally there.  I opened a stall door, grab bars on either side of the toilet but no turning radius; the door wouldn't close with my wheelchair in it.  I went to the stall that looked like it was larger.  It had a five foot turning radius but the grab bars were on the opposite side from the toilet.

​By this time I had tried and failed, I was sobbing.  My Nana and aunt Dottie came to check on me then.  We went into the sitting room where they asked me what was wrong. I told them how the bathroom wasn't accessible, how I fell trying to use it on my own, how I couldn't go anyways but I had to.  I told them this while still sobbing.  And then… they put there hands on me and started praying!

​I had always been faithful and trusting in God, but in that moment I felt His arms around me.  I could feel Him hugging my spirit and saying, "calm down, child.  Do not worry."  I went from sobbing to calmly breathing so quickly.  I just felt absolutely loved, the almighty God loves me for me.

​Whenever I'm questioning where He is; whenever God stretches me so thin that I think I can't handle anymore, I think of this story.  Just like a rubber band when God stretches you He is testing your strength, but you will always snap back because you are strong.  And, He never leaves you, even in the bathroom.  

In July 2020

                                                                                                                    Monday January 5, 2015

Dear Future Self,

​You, my friend, are blessed with a wisdom far beyond your years.  You probably feel like you've seen the world but the world you know best is the inside of a hospital.  Believe me, there is far more to see.  There will always be ups and downs (you know that) but the important thing is to focus on the "up".  Life is a fight but there is so much to behold, and you must.

            I will not predict my future as I do not want to look back on this and feel like I have not accomplished something but I do have advice: 1. Keep writing.  People love to feast their eyes upon your story; there is much to tell.  2. Learn to love to read again.  Remember to "feed your brain" as your crazy eleventh grade English teacher said.  3. Go to college.  Just go and finish, no matter how long it takes.  4. Be independent.  Remember, independence means to be in control of your life.  Having help is a good thing and if you need it ask.  5. Learn some social skills.  It doesn't matter that you can't see.  Be social!  6. Trust God in whatever happens and whatever you do.

          I pray for health and love and happiness.  The Lord God will always be with you!  And, remember, you are blessed with a wisdom far beyond your years; use this wisdom to its full potential.

Happy belated 22 birthday!

Love,