The Search

What if everyone chalked up how you felt into a million different reasons because they didn't actually know why you felt bad?  What if your doctor told you your symptoms didn't really exist and it was 'all in your head'?  What if no one was ever willing to help you because they weren't sure how their treatment would effect you?  This describes me.  I am a mystery. 

     I have a physical disability and am also legally blind.  My disability doesn't have a name; it has no rhyme or reason.  I have a list of symptoms that have not been tied together.  I am rare and I will probably always be rare because, you see, the search for a diagnosis has been far and wide and 16 years long.  No answers have been given; I have even been turned down from studies.  

     But the name, I do not care about.  The reason, I do not want.  What I want is for doctors to think outside of the box.  If there are symptoms to go off of then there are ways to help.   What I want is to change the way people with disabilities are perceived and thought about.  What I want is to be able to share my story.  

     It is time to stop searching and start living!