Sharing My Faith

 I wrote this in my notes last night so not to forget, although I don't think I would; "Tonight I was renewed; renewed in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  I have been born again!  I have made this mature decision to be baptized, to share my faith."
       I have gone to church since I was a child; growing up in worship and faith.  I accepted Jesus into my heart at a young age.   I was even baptized as a baby, but being consciously aware of that what you're doing is something different.  It has a greater meaning.
        I have been through a lot and have been faithful through it all.  One Sunday I was literally  falling asleep in the church due to my pain medication because of "Larry the brain lesion", and I felt  the tneed to get baptized and that show everyone my faith for Jesus Christ!

Matthew 3:11English Standard Version (ESV)

11 “I baptize you with water for repentance, but he who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.

Acts 22:16English Standard Version (ESV)

16 And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name.’

       

Humans In Control

As human beings we love to be in control.  Some more than others, but nonetheless, in control.  We plot out our lives, our accomplishments, our milestones, etc…. And then when we don't get to live our plotted point on the plan, we freak. 
       I've lived this with the journey of "Larry the lesion" -- which by the way is completely gone!  And, though Larry is completely gone, he has left me a little more dependent on people which makes me feel not in control.  It feels different to me, but I have a friend who tells me that independence is not necessarily being able to do everything on your own but being able to tell other people your needs.      But, the way I see it, we shouldn't plot our plans in detail -- contrary to popular belief -- as we are not the ones in control.  God and the universe are in control.  God knew us and our destinies before we were even conceived in the womb.  So I would make a fuzzy outline of my life plan and leave room for change that tend to veer us off our line. 

Proverbs 19:21English Standard Version (ESV)

21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
    but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Romans 8:28English Standard Version (ESV)

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[a] for those who are called according to his purpose.

Joshua 1:9English Standard Version (ESV)

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Jeremiah 29:11English Standard Version (ESV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Selflessness

Selflessness is a quality worth having.  It doesn't mean that you don't love yourself; it just means that the people who you love are on your mind more.  And, maybe that's not the way it should be.  Maybe there should be a common ground between selflessness and selfishness, so that worrying about the ones we love doesn't overshadow the desicions we make for ourselves.

Philippians 2:4English Standard Version (ESV)

4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:21English Standard Version (ESV)

21 For they all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

Galatians 6:2English Standard Version (ESV)

2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Time To Let Go

You do not see that you need to let go until you realize how tight your holding on.  I am holding on to something too tightly and have finally realized it… I need to let go, in order to be normal.
       Larry the lesion came and that was a traumatic experience for everyone involved, I think.  Things kept happening one after the other.  Larry was discovered, then all this medicine came, my energy levels dropped, weight fluctuation, head pain, etc, etc….  I tried to not whine and complain but it turns out I did and still am.
       I care and love and worry about lots of people; my family and friends.  I would like to take the added work of helping me off of their plate, but I can't; it's not my fault.  And when you think about it, for the people who love me they will do whatever is necessary.
       I need to stop whining and complaining.  It is what it is.  I need to loosen my grip on the rope and let go.

Philippians 3:12-14 ESV / 312 helpful votes

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

     

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 489 helpful votes

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jesus Wept

I had a school aide when I was in elementary school, and each time I would cry she would say, "Tears are just a shower for your heart, cleaning your soul."  Back then, "showering your heart" in front of people was somewhat acceptable because I was young and "helpless"- because children c ry because they are supposedly helpless.  Now, when I cry my school aide says I need anti-anxiety meds.  Now I am not allowed to cry because I'm "too old".  And when I do, I am weak.
       I am not weak for crying.  Letting my emotions out is a healthy thing.  I am strong for being vulnerable and if my vulnerability intimidates you, then… I'm sorry.  My heart will always need a shower to keep my soul healthy and clean so that I can stay strong.
 
And do not presume I need meds when you don't know my story…

2 Peter 3:9New Living Translation (NLT)

9 The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

John 11:35 ESV

Jesus wept.