People First

This blog has become my diary, but that was not the original plan.  The original plan was to have a detached blog about how to treat people who have disabilities, but I'm not good at detaching myself and people seem to like my thoughts and experiences.  It's still about how to treat people with disabilities; treat us like typical people because that's what we are.  Human beings.  

     There are about 1,093 people who have read my blog.  A lot of you are new and some of you have been reading for a while now, but what I hope you've all done is read every single one of my posts.  What I hope you've all seen is that I'm a person with feelings, struggles and beliefs.  I'm not a 'wheelchair person' or a 'disabled person'   I am a PERSON WHO HAS A DISABILITY.  

     No matter what kind of disability a person might have, wether it be physical or cognitive (mental), we are still people.  This is why when you are describing a person who has a disability in a sentence you should always put the person before the disability to portray that we are people and that we are NOT are disability.  There is more to a person than just their disability.  You can see that in my blog.  There is more to me than just my disability.  

     So, don't talk to us like we're baby's.  Don't shout at us like we can't hear you or understand you.  Don't help us before asking.  And ALWAYS put the person first!

Christmas Love; Holiday Spirit

I love Christmas!  Not for the presents, though.  I love it for the FAMILY LOVE.  

     My brothers ex-girlfriend once asked me, "If no one gave presents on Christmas would it still be your favorite holiday?"  The answer is "yes" because although the presents are fun to give and receive, I more so love the family time.  As crazy or as loud as we might be, I love seeing us talk and laugh.  I love seeing and feeling the support, kindness and love. 

     I know that I'm more blessed than some people with my family, but there is someone who loves you.  Wether your family is really disfunctional or not; wether it's few people or a huge family there is always someone who loves you.  God is also always loving and always there for you. 

     Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!!

“Normal”

Normal-adj. Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type

      As shown above the definition of normal is conforming with or adhering to a norm; but what is normal?  Arguments can be made that no one is normal because normal is just an opinion and there is no real definition.   Others dream and hope to be normal, in which by normal they mean to be like other people.  But what does normal truly mean?

     The truth is that normal is an opinion.  People question the definition of normal because everyone has a different view of what normal truly means.  Everyone is different in their own way therefore no one is normal. 

     I bring this topic up because I dislike when people ask me if I want to be normal.  I know what they mean; they're asking me if I want to walk like everyone else.  If I would rather be able to walk and be able to see like the population they're comparing me to.  I don't want to be compared to a group of people and, no, I do not want to be ‘normal’.  My disability and my differences are what makes me ME.  I also just strongly dislike the word ‘normal’ because of the mystery of the word.  No one is normal because normal is an opinion and everyone is different in their own way. 

I prefer the word typical:

Typical-Exhibiting the qualities, traits, or characteristics that identify a kind, class, group, or category

     At first glance you may think the word typical is just a synonym of normal.  But it's not.  Normal is conforming to; typical is just exhibiting the qualities.  I'll leave you to compare the two and figure this one out.

I Love my Life the Way It Is

During passing period at school today, I heard this guy behind me say, "if I was in a wheelchair I think I'd kill my self".  If you were in a wheelchair I would hope you'd suck it up and learn how to do things and play wheelchair sports or something.  The reality of my life-using a wheelchair and all-is that I can do everything you can do, just in a different way.  Sometimes it takes me longer, sometimes I need to approach a task differently but I always end up succeeding eventually. 

     I don't even really know why that boy said if he was in a wheelchair he'd kill himself.  I only assume that it's because he doesn't understand.  Doesn't understand that people who use wheelchairs can do everything abled-bodied people can do.  I love my life the way it is.  I love myself the way I am.  That's all you have to do; believe in yourself. 

It Always Goes Up :)

I'm so blessed,

Even though sometimes my life feels like a mess. 

You know, it could be worse.

I could be dying. 

I could be cursed. 

But instead, I'm flying,

Souring on happiness. 

Thinking of how my family was sent to me. 

The best of the best. 

I have no words,

For the opportunities coming my way. 

So many things they hold. 

So great, so bold. 

I'm so blessed, 

Even though sometimes my life feels like a mess. 

Because God has a plan. 

And every mess,

Every blessing,

Is in the master plan.

Part of something greater,

Part of a reason.  

The mess is just a downward slope,

But it always goes up. 

Advocating Is Hard, But Necessary

This past week was the first week of school and my whole IEP team and my new aid were telling me how great I am at advocating for myself.  My first week consists of me emailing my teachers and telling them what my disabilities are, what they can do to acomadate me and how I will learn best in their class.  If they don't get my email I make sure someone's on top of it and bother that person about talking to my teachers until what needs to be said is said and understood.

     My IEP I told me that none of their other students advocate like I do; they're too scared and shy.  I put scared and shy in the closet for this part life a long time ago because if I don't advocate for myself, no one will.  

     In any situation, you have to advocate for yourself in order to get what you need.  Always remember to be nice yet assertive and try not to get frustrated when someone doesn't understand because in my experience sometimes you have to tell people over and over to get them to understand.  It's always hard to be nice and assertive at the same time.  I even still struggle with that and in other situations besides school I still struggle with putting the shyness and the scariness away.  But if you don't advocate for yourself it's hard to find people who will so try your best and make sure you get what you need to help you.  

  

You're Never Alone

You haven't felt anything until you've felt God's presence.  

     There's a story I'd like to tell you.  A couple years ago, on a Sunday, I was at church and I had to use the bathroom.  When I got to the bathroom, I looked and none of the stalls were accessible so my Nana (grandma) came to help me.  Once I was settled, I just couldn't go.  There was a lot of people in there and I guess you could say I have stage fright.  So, I stopped trying and my Nana helped me out.  But all this isn't the point.  The point is that after I started crying hysterically so my Nana got my great aunt and they started praying over me.  In seconds I went from crying hysterically to being calm.  

     It was the most amazing feeling ever!  I felt God's presence in the room.  I felt peace flooding my body.  

     I always want you to take something away when you read my blogs.  Today I guess I'm trying to say you're never alone.  God is always with you.  He's always there to comfort, to calm, to help. 

God Doesn't Give You More Than He Can Handle

Lately I've been hearing people say that "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" and I don't think that's true.  You see, I think God gives you more than  you can handle all on your own.  Yes, you might have your family and friends to support you and that's wonderful but that's not what I mean.  God doesn't give you more than He can handle because He can handle anything, and He wants you to find comfort, peace, strength and courage through Him. 

     I think people like the phrase "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" because it makes you feel good and like you can handle whatever you're  going through.  There's nothing wrong with that but God doesn't want you to handle it on your own.  He wants you too find strength in Him.  He will walk by you and hold your hand hand.  

Friends, Family, Blessed <3

Friends.  I don't have a lot, but I have the good ones, the keepers.  I have the friends that I can just sit with and talk to for hours.  I have the friends that I can go crazy with.  I have friends that are comfortable talking about my disability and are comfortable with helping me.  I have friends that I can be me around.  I don't have a lot but I have enough. :)

     Family.  I have a dad that will put doors in walls and wheelchair lifts by the door.  I have a dad that will spend nights in the hospital with me.  That will make bathroom doors wider and almost punch teachers for me.  I have a mom that will fight the school district for me.  A mom that will always do and fight for the right things for me.  I have aunts that I can tell anything to.  Aunts that will pray for me.  Aunts that love me.  I have uncles that make me laugh and smile whenever I see them.  

     Sometimes it may seem that my life sucks and that nothing will ever let up.  But than I remember my support system, my friends and family and I know that God blessed me with people that love and care about me.  I love and care about you too!  I Love my family and friends! 

We're All Just Human

On this blog I usually talk about optimism, cheerfulness and how every bad thing in life leads to a greater purpose and I believe that.  I believe in optimism and cheerfulness and that every thing in life leads to a greater purpose.  But don't get me wrong, I have bad days, I have days where I feel like the world is against me.  And when I cry I feel like I'm weak.  

     I'm all about being strong and courageous and not giving up so when I cry I feel weak.  But I'm not!  Crying and feeling down every once in a while is normal.  It alright to have those days and it's alright to not know why you're feeling the way that you are.  There is always a reason but we don't always know what it is.  

     I had this aid in elementary school who told me that when you cry you're giving your heart a shower.  Washing all the bad feelings away.  I think she's right.  

Change Is Scary

You know that thing people say about change being good?  It might be good, it might be bad, but one thing's for sure it's scary.  I'm a personal believer that everything that changes is for a reason.  

     I'm a usually really shy person, a terrible shopper and a person who keeps to herself.  I'm starting to feel that sickening feeling of change.  I'm becoming a better shopper and I feel myself slowly (like turtle slow) blossoming into a more outgoing person.  

     Scary?  I am completely and utterly terrified but I can't shake the feeling that this is a good thing.  So the next time you're scared of change just remember that everything happens for a reason.  Then God has a plan and it's all in His hands.  

The Little Things Don't Matter

You know those little things that people fuss over?  Things like having a bad hair day and trying to keep your butt from getting wet on a sailboat by not sitting down.  Well you know what?  Those things don't matter. 

     I can't even do my hair myself let alone worry about looking bad because I can't fix it and for me not sitting down on one of those little sailboats is not an option.  

     For you people who worry about the little things: don't.  Save your worry for something that deserves it.  The big things in life, the actual tragedies. 

My Body Doesn't Make Sense!! Ugh!

I'm confused.  So very confused.  

     I've been having some problems breathing so I went to see the pumanologist (lung doctor).  She told me that my ventilation is 40% of a typical persons ventilation, which is not good.  She also ordered a sleep study because I've been exhausted all the time and she wanted to see if this is cause from the way I breathe when I sleep.  She seemed very confident that I would need BiPAP at night.  Which brings me to my point. 

     Last night I had my sleep study and this morning they kicked us out saying that my sats were good all night and there was no need for BiPAP or supplemental oxygen.  Thatsv good right?  Wrong.  I'm confused.  So very confused because how is it possible that my ventilation is 40% when I'm awake but everything is fine and dandy when I'm asleep.  It just doesn't make sense.  But, then again, when has my body ever made sense.