Yesterday, I told my friend, "I think I've moved to acceptance in the stages of grieving." She seemed baffled, like grieving is only for those who have died, but it's not. You can grieve over the loss of a loved one, the loss of an ability, separation from a friend... or in this case, a friend moving away.
I needed a new caregiver; that's all I was expecting. That day, a girl from Santee, only one year older than me, came walking through the front door. She showed up before the one she was supposed to shadow. She walked through, seeing what my routine was, with what seemed like no fear. I like that willingness to try everything and see what happens. Barbie Johnson says she faked it until she made it. She did a damn well good job. How was I supposed to know we would blossom into sisters?
The routine starts with a shower. Barbie transfers me onto the shower chair and slides me into the shower. Then, with Barbie sitting on the toilet seat (fully clothed), we would talk about anything and everything. I told my whole life's story during those conversations - and it's a long story. That blossoming occurred in less than a year. Now I'm grieving because she is leaving for five months.
I rely and put my whole life on her. But it's time she lives her own life for a while. We will text and communicate, at least every other day! She will be back! She has to, because we're sisters now!
