Intersecting People

Have you ever wondered why you know the people that you know?  Why your life paths intersected and you met?  I tend to believe that God set it up that way and certain people are part of your trials and tribulations, while others are set in place to help you along.  This year I have met quite a few people that are here to help me along.
       There was this day a few weeks ago when I got home from school.  When I entered the side gate that leads to my access point of the house, I dropped my iPad.  There was this man that was getting ready to leave my dead-end coldasac of a street; I asked him to help me pick up my iPad.  Instead of leaving like he so easily could have, he got up and helped me.
        There is someone in my life who goes above and beyond to help anyone.  When I cry, she cries.  When I'm in pain, she worries.  She is the sweetest, most kind lady.  She cares for me like my mother cares for her children.
        And then there is… my mom, my dad, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my teachers.  There are the people who have crossed my life intersection.  What about your people?  Even if it's that one guy who helped you out that one time…

The Ugly Beast Shall Not Defeat

Larry left with some of my cerebellum. 

There could be more Larrys to come. 

My optic nerve atrophy along with Larry and my physical - whatever? - is most likely all related to some cerebellum ataxia. 

But that, is not the ugly beast. 

The ugly beast is proggression - as in, progressively getting worse. 

The ugly beast is not knowing where, when, or how it will attack. 

The ugly beast does not care, if it is interrupting life affairs. 

The point is: 

The beast strikes without thought,

and cares not. 

All I can do is live my life,

with love and not strife. 

Try to not let it spoil any of what is to come,

and enjoy the future knowing who it came from!

The Last Days Are Violent

Look around. 

What do you see?

The world is going crazy!

Why can't we seem to make peace?

Shootings, stabbings, and terrorist attacks

Are on the news twenty-four seven. 

We can not seem to pack up our differences,

So innocent people must end up in heaven. 

They say these are the last days,

And I can not seem to disagree in any way. 

With all the violence, and not enough peace;

Do you see a way to argue with me?

I will continue to pray,

For you and your family,

As this does not seem to be going away, 

Anytime soon. 

What a shame. 

Senior going on Freshman

I am currently losing myself in my thoughts, which can be good, but at this moment is not. I am lost in the future. Time is moving far too quickly; it seems like yesterday is gone and tomorrow is today. I can't catch up. 

       Senior year and graduation is coming closer and closer. It lurks around the bend, but before the joy and relief of that can sink in we are assaulted by the fear and stress of applying to college… and pretty much everything else related to college. We are becoming adults. Our lives are beginning. 

        With every word I write a weight lifts from my shoulders. I am happy and relieved to graduate. I am sad and fearful to leave my friends and start anew. New opportunities are bound to come and all of this must happen. 

A Story

When Tim O'Brian writes "but the story does not end there" in the chapter Sweetheart of the Song Tra Bong of the book "The Things T hey Carried" he struck a chord in my mind that cones to the conclusion of how no ones story ends. 

     I have always wanted to write some sort of autobiography but I can never seem to find a linear ordinance to share my trials in life. Where to begin, where to end? I am me because of the people surrounding me. So, how should I tell my entrance into this world? Or better yet, where should I start about how I arrived? 

     Should I tell my story like Tim O'Brian? Fiction, but not false. And the end isn't here, so when should I stop writing...

Sharing My Faith

 I wrote this in my notes last night so not to forget, although I don't think I would; "Tonight I was renewed; renewed in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  I have been born again!  I have made this mature decision to be baptized, to share my faith."
       I have gone to church since I was a child; growing up in worship and faith.  I accepted Jesus into my heart at a young age.   I was even baptized as a baby, but being consciously aware of that what you're doing is something different.  It has a greater meaning.
        I have been through a lot and have been faithful through it all.  One Sunday I was literally  falling asleep in the church due to my pain medication because of "Larry the brain lesion", and I felt  the tneed to get baptized and that show everyone my faith for Jesus Christ!

Matthew 3:11English Standard Version (ESV)

11 “I baptize you with water for repentance, but he who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.

Acts 22:16English Standard Version (ESV)

16 And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name.’

       

Humans In Control

As human beings we love to be in control.  Some more than others, but nonetheless, in control.  We plot out our lives, our accomplishments, our milestones, etc…. And then when we don't get to live our plotted point on the plan, we freak. 
       I've lived this with the journey of "Larry the lesion" -- which by the way is completely gone!  And, though Larry is completely gone, he has left me a little more dependent on people which makes me feel not in control.  It feels different to me, but I have a friend who tells me that independence is not necessarily being able to do everything on your own but being able to tell other people your needs.      But, the way I see it, we shouldn't plot our plans in detail -- contrary to popular belief -- as we are not the ones in control.  God and the universe are in control.  God knew us and our destinies before we were even conceived in the womb.  So I would make a fuzzy outline of my life plan and leave room for change that tend to veer us off our line. 

Proverbs 19:21English Standard Version (ESV)

21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
    but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Romans 8:28English Standard Version (ESV)

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[a] for those who are called according to his purpose.

Joshua 1:9English Standard Version (ESV)

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Jeremiah 29:11English Standard Version (ESV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Selflessness

Selflessness is a quality worth having.  It doesn't mean that you don't love yourself; it just means that the people who you love are on your mind more.  And, maybe that's not the way it should be.  Maybe there should be a common ground between selflessness and selfishness, so that worrying about the ones we love doesn't overshadow the desicions we make for ourselves.

Philippians 2:4English Standard Version (ESV)

4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:21English Standard Version (ESV)

21 For they all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

Galatians 6:2English Standard Version (ESV)

2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Time To Let Go

You do not see that you need to let go until you realize how tight your holding on.  I am holding on to something too tightly and have finally realized it… I need to let go, in order to be normal.
       Larry the lesion came and that was a traumatic experience for everyone involved, I think.  Things kept happening one after the other.  Larry was discovered, then all this medicine came, my energy levels dropped, weight fluctuation, head pain, etc, etc….  I tried to not whine and complain but it turns out I did and still am.
       I care and love and worry about lots of people; my family and friends.  I would like to take the added work of helping me off of their plate, but I can't; it's not my fault.  And when you think about it, for the people who love me they will do whatever is necessary.
       I need to stop whining and complaining.  It is what it is.  I need to loosen my grip on the rope and let go.

Philippians 3:12-14 ESV / 312 helpful votes

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

     

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 489 helpful votes

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jesus Wept

I had a school aide when I was in elementary school, and each time I would cry she would say, "Tears are just a shower for your heart, cleaning your soul."  Back then, "showering your heart" in front of people was somewhat acceptable because I was young and "helpless"- because children c ry because they are supposedly helpless.  Now, when I cry my school aide says I need anti-anxiety meds.  Now I am not allowed to cry because I'm "too old".  And when I do, I am weak.
       I am not weak for crying.  Letting my emotions out is a healthy thing.  I am strong for being vulnerable and if my vulnerability intimidates you, then… I'm sorry.  My heart will always need a shower to keep my soul healthy and clean so that I can stay strong.
 
And do not presume I need meds when you don't know my story…

2 Peter 3:9New Living Translation (NLT)

9 The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

John 11:35 ESV

Jesus wept.

Change Circle of Friends!

Dear Anonymous,
Circle of Friends is a club with a great concept, and a club that I would like to change instead of just being a part, sitting on the side lines.  "Inclusion" is a great idea if people would carry out what the word means.  We don't call it "inclusion" when African Americans attend our schools, or students who are in the LGBT community, or students with blonde hair and blue eyes; it is only called inclusion when students with disabilities attend schools.  Inclusion should be a historical word, just like segregation.
Circle of Friends is a club to "include", but it has created a feeling of "us" and "them".  it should be for all!  Where do my friends eat on the days when there is no CoF?  Are they kept in their classroom?  My friends should be with their friends, their peers.
A club entitled Circle of Friends should be about socializing and interacting, building new bonds that you can be with other times of the week and even life.  It should be about learning that everyone has differences and commonalities, and looking past that.  It should not be dead-set on commitment because once a true bond is made you will want to keep that knot tied.  
          Beautiful skills and friendships will be made if this is how you make your club.  As for now, I do not agree with the way things are being done.  So, I must resign from membership.

With thought,
Valerie   

Bending Rules

I hate being rude, or mean, or inconveniencing someone; that is not me.  I hate breaking rules.  I like to be a rule follower.  Sometimes rules can and should be bent, though. 

       Rules are like guidelines to stay inside of, which we have to be confined to in order to keep our jobs and be a well abiding citizen.  I admire that and for the most part we must "color inside the lines" to become successful and earn a living.  We must follow the law, but when you work for someone rules should be bent if necessary.  

        For instance, if the client is in distress and tells you what needs to be done, than I think you must do what needs to be done instead of coloring inside of the line.  It doesn't matter wethe the picture is neat, only that it is pretty.  Know when it is okay to bend the rules, otherwise follow them.  And always follow the rules of God!

Colossians 2:8New Living Translation (NLT)

8 Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers[a] of this world, rather than from Christ.

John 8:31-32English Standard Version (ESV)

The Truth Will Set You Free

31 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Health

i am always praying for health and healing.  Try not to spread germś and keep yout immune system strong.  Some tips: wash your hands, eat or drink your vegetables and fruit, and take vitamins.  Staying hydràted is important too. 

       But, keeping your mind positive is also a big thing.  Of course, as I have mentioned, we are going to have down days, but staying positive and trying to not get stressed will help your physical well-being too.  Prayer helps all, as well!

   

1 Corinthians 6:19-20New Living Translation (NLT)

19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Proverbs 17:22English Standard Version (ESV)

22 A joyful heart is good medicine,
    but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Psalm 139:14English Standard Version (ESV)

14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.

Be Angry and Do Not Sin

I'm not sure which is better; showing your anger or not…. 

       Have you ever felt that vibe that passive- aggressiveness gives off?  It's like, you feel anger but your not sure if it's just you because the person doesn't look angry.  You feel that you might have upset someone.  And when you're me that feeling doesn't help anything.  

       Please don't be passive-aggressive because I worry and care about you.  I am already anxious.  I am tired.  I am in pain.  And I am trying to give it ALL to God, because He gave me life on this earth an eternal.  He can carry my burden!

Proverbs 29:11English Standard Version (ESV)

11 A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
    but a wise man quietly holds it back.

Ephesians 4:26-27English Standard Version (ESV)

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

Galatians 6:2English Standard Version (ESV)

2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Psalm 55:22English Standard Version (ESV)

22 Cast your burden on the Lord,
    and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
    the righteous to be moved.

We Are Fragile Humans

Thank you to the people in my life who love, care, and worry about me.  Thank you to the people who pick me up off the floor -- literally and figuratively.  To the people who hug me and wipe the tears from my face.  I am fragile.  To the people I inspire and motivate, thank you for without you I would not be inspiring and I love, and care, and worry about all of you.  I will pick you up off of the literal and figurative floor.  I will wipe the tears from your face and hug you.  You are fragile.  We are all fragile. 

       I am not fragile because I am disabled; I am fragile because I am human.  We can not be strong minded, strong willed, and just plain strong all the time.  We must cry, be angry, get frustrated', feel sad.  We are all disabled in one way or another, and as unique humans with disabilities we come with emotions.  

       We are all fragile.  We must all have people who can wipe our tears.  Strength cannot be with us all the time, but God can!

       

2 Corinthians 5:17English Standard Version (ESV)

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.[a] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Psalm 23:1-6English Standard Version (ESV)

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Psalm of David.

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.[a]
3     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness[b]
    for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c]
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
6 Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord
    forever.[g]

Revelation 1:8English Standard Version (ESV)

8 “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.”