Friends, Family, Blessed <3

Friends.  I don't have a lot, but I have the good ones, the keepers.  I have the friends that I can just sit with and talk to for hours.  I have the friends that I can go crazy with.  I have friends that are comfortable talking about my disability and are comfortable with helping me.  I have friends that I can be me around.  I don't have a lot but I have enough. :)

     Family.  I have a dad that will put doors in walls and wheelchair lifts by the door.  I have a dad that will spend nights in the hospital with me.  That will make bathroom doors wider and almost punch teachers for me.  I have a mom that will fight the school district for me.  A mom that will always do and fight for the right things for me.  I have aunts that I can tell anything to.  Aunts that will pray for me.  Aunts that love me.  I have uncles that make me laugh and smile whenever I see them.  

     Sometimes it may seem that my life sucks and that nothing will ever let up.  But than I remember my support system, my friends and family and I know that God blessed me with people that love and care about me.  I love and care about you too!  I Love my family and friends! 

We're All Just Human

On this blog I usually talk about optimism, cheerfulness and how every bad thing in life leads to a greater purpose and I believe that.  I believe in optimism and cheerfulness and that every thing in life leads to a greater purpose.  But don't get me wrong, I have bad days, I have days where I feel like the world is against me.  And when I cry I feel like I'm weak.  

     I'm all about being strong and courageous and not giving up so when I cry I feel weak.  But I'm not!  Crying and feeling down every once in a while is normal.  It alright to have those days and it's alright to not know why you're feeling the way that you are.  There is always a reason but we don't always know what it is.  

     I had this aid in elementary school who told me that when you cry you're giving your heart a shower.  Washing all the bad feelings away.  I think she's right.  

Change Is Scary

You know that thing people say about change being good?  It might be good, it might be bad, but one thing's for sure it's scary.  I'm a personal believer that everything that changes is for a reason.  

     I'm a usually really shy person, a terrible shopper and a person who keeps to herself.  I'm starting to feel that sickening feeling of change.  I'm becoming a better shopper and I feel myself slowly (like turtle slow) blossoming into a more outgoing person.  

     Scary?  I am completely and utterly terrified but I can't shake the feeling that this is a good thing.  So the next time you're scared of change just remember that everything happens for a reason.  Then God has a plan and it's all in His hands.  

The Little Things Don't Matter

You know those little things that people fuss over?  Things like having a bad hair day and trying to keep your butt from getting wet on a sailboat by not sitting down.  Well you know what?  Those things don't matter. 

     I can't even do my hair myself let alone worry about looking bad because I can't fix it and for me not sitting down on one of those little sailboats is not an option.  

     For you people who worry about the little things: don't.  Save your worry for something that deserves it.  The big things in life, the actual tragedies. 

My Body Doesn't Make Sense!! Ugh!

I'm confused.  So very confused.  

     I've been having some problems breathing so I went to see the pumanologist (lung doctor).  She told me that my ventilation is 40% of a typical persons ventilation, which is not good.  She also ordered a sleep study because I've been exhausted all the time and she wanted to see if this is cause from the way I breathe when I sleep.  She seemed very confident that I would need BiPAP at night.  Which brings me to my point. 

     Last night I had my sleep study and this morning they kicked us out saying that my sats were good all night and there was no need for BiPAP or supplemental oxygen.  Thatsv good right?  Wrong.  I'm confused.  So very confused because how is it possible that my ventilation is 40% when I'm awake but everything is fine and dandy when I'm asleep.  It just doesn't make sense.  But, then again, when has my body ever made sense.