It Always Goes Up :)

I'm so blessed,

Even though sometimes my life feels like a mess. 

You know, it could be worse.

I could be dying. 

I could be cursed. 

But instead, I'm flying,

Souring on happiness. 

Thinking of how my family was sent to me. 

The best of the best. 

I have no words,

For the opportunities coming my way. 

So many things they hold. 

So great, so bold. 

I'm so blessed, 

Even though sometimes my life feels like a mess. 

Because God has a plan. 

And every mess,

Every blessing,

Is in the master plan.

Part of something greater,

Part of a reason.  

The mess is just a downward slope,

But it always goes up. 

Advocating Is Hard, But Necessary

This past week was the first week of school and my whole IEP team and my new aid were telling me how great I am at advocating for myself.  My first week consists of me emailing my teachers and telling them what my disabilities are, what they can do to acomadate me and how I will learn best in their class.  If they don't get my email I make sure someone's on top of it and bother that person about talking to my teachers until what needs to be said is said and understood.

     My IEP I told me that none of their other students advocate like I do; they're too scared and shy.  I put scared and shy in the closet for this part life a long time ago because if I don't advocate for myself, no one will.  

     In any situation, you have to advocate for yourself in order to get what you need.  Always remember to be nice yet assertive and try not to get frustrated when someone doesn't understand because in my experience sometimes you have to tell people over and over to get them to understand.  It's always hard to be nice and assertive at the same time.  I even still struggle with that and in other situations besides school I still struggle with putting the shyness and the scariness away.  But if you don't advocate for yourself it's hard to find people who will so try your best and make sure you get what you need to help you.  

  

You're Never Alone

You haven't felt anything until you've felt God's presence.  

     There's a story I'd like to tell you.  A couple years ago, on a Sunday, I was at church and I had to use the bathroom.  When I got to the bathroom, I looked and none of the stalls were accessible so my Nana (grandma) came to help me.  Once I was settled, I just couldn't go.  There was a lot of people in there and I guess you could say I have stage fright.  So, I stopped trying and my Nana helped me out.  But all this isn't the point.  The point is that after I started crying hysterically so my Nana got my great aunt and they started praying over me.  In seconds I went from crying hysterically to being calm.  

     It was the most amazing feeling ever!  I felt God's presence in the room.  I felt peace flooding my body.  

     I always want you to take something away when you read my blogs.  Today I guess I'm trying to say you're never alone.  God is always with you.  He's always there to comfort, to calm, to help. 

God Doesn't Give You More Than He Can Handle

Lately I've been hearing people say that "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" and I don't think that's true.  You see, I think God gives you more than  you can handle all on your own.  Yes, you might have your family and friends to support you and that's wonderful but that's not what I mean.  God doesn't give you more than He can handle because He can handle anything, and He wants you to find comfort, peace, strength and courage through Him. 

     I think people like the phrase "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" because it makes you feel good and like you can handle whatever you're  going through.  There's nothing wrong with that but God doesn't want you to handle it on your own.  He wants you too find strength in Him.  He will walk by you and hold your hand hand.  

Friends, Family, Blessed <3

Friends.  I don't have a lot, but I have the good ones, the keepers.  I have the friends that I can just sit with and talk to for hours.  I have the friends that I can go crazy with.  I have friends that are comfortable talking about my disability and are comfortable with helping me.  I have friends that I can be me around.  I don't have a lot but I have enough. :)

     Family.  I have a dad that will put doors in walls and wheelchair lifts by the door.  I have a dad that will spend nights in the hospital with me.  That will make bathroom doors wider and almost punch teachers for me.  I have a mom that will fight the school district for me.  A mom that will always do and fight for the right things for me.  I have aunts that I can tell anything to.  Aunts that will pray for me.  Aunts that love me.  I have uncles that make me laugh and smile whenever I see them.  

     Sometimes it may seem that my life sucks and that nothing will ever let up.  But than I remember my support system, my friends and family and I know that God blessed me with people that love and care about me.  I love and care about you too!  I Love my family and friends!