Yes, there are good days and bad days. Yes, some days I have more spoons than others. To be brutally honest, though, everyday I feel like shit; it's just some days I feel like more shit.
"Fake it till you make it." That quote means a lot more to people who have chronic illnesses. We feel like shit all the time, so faking is an art. Trying our hardest to act like everyday is a good day. Sometimes it's just not posible to fake; the day is too much of a bad day. Our bodies feel too much like the life has been drained out of us. So, please, don't mind me if I can't "fake it".
"You look so good", is also a saying I hear too much. The life tends to be drained out of me, I am always in pain, and more times than not, I can't breathe. It is said with kindness, sincerity, and good intentions; I know. I may look good on the outside, but it's usually not how I feel.
"You aren't even trying", is something I heard from a friend in a class. I started failing my class and kept asking my friends to help me pull through. She said to me, "We are busy people and aren't able to drop everything to come tutor you. I'm not willing to help if you aren't even trying to complete the work. I get your sick, but it doesn't look like you want to pass." I wanted to pass! I am always doing my best and a lot of the time I am trying harder than my best. I am sick so, the energy to physically complete the work or even have the energy to think, isn't always there. I always want to do my best! I always try harder than my hardest, and she did NOT understand! Let's just say, I passed The Spoon Theory on for her to read and no longer consider her a friend.
The comments I hear as someone with a chronic illness are hard pills to swallow. I am not understood until you get to know me. My story is a long one but in time, as trust is earned, you will hear it. Ignorant sayings are a piece of the story.
"Fake it till you make it." That quote means a lot more to people who have chronic illnesses. We feel like shit all the time, so faking is an art. Trying our hardest to act like everyday is a good day. Sometimes it's just not posible to fake; the day is too much of a bad day. Our bodies feel too much like the life has been drained out of us. So, please, don't mind me if I can't "fake it".
"You look so good", is also a saying I hear too much. The life tends to be drained out of me, I am always in pain, and more times than not, I can't breathe. It is said with kindness, sincerity, and good intentions; I know. I may look good on the outside, but it's usually not how I feel.
"You aren't even trying", is something I heard from a friend in a class. I started failing my class and kept asking my friends to help me pull through. She said to me, "We are busy people and aren't able to drop everything to come tutor you. I'm not willing to help if you aren't even trying to complete the work. I get your sick, but it doesn't look like you want to pass." I wanted to pass! I am always doing my best and a lot of the time I am trying harder than my best. I am sick so, the energy to physically complete the work or even have the energy to think, isn't always there. I always want to do my best! I always try harder than my hardest, and she did NOT understand! Let's just say, I passed The Spoon Theory on for her to read and no longer consider her a friend.
The comments I hear as someone with a chronic illness are hard pills to swallow. I am not understood until you get to know me. My story is a long one but in time, as trust is earned, you will hear it. Ignorant sayings are a piece of the story.
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